The inquisitiveness of the cows around here has turned into something more serious, something sinister. It seems it has jumped off the cliff of sanity into the realm of downright crazy. While out on a morning drive, I was stopped by a herd of cows. Frantic, some still with bits of breakfast on their faces, they begin pestering me with questions. It seems back in the barn, they’d just completed a marathon of Doomsday Preppers and now were preparing for the Apocalypse.
“Why are they following us?” “Who are they?” “Is it time?” These are just a few of the questions they hurled at me. Confused, I asked for clarification. It seems they were concerned about a hot air balloon that had been floating nearby. I tried to assure them by explaining that the balloon was nothing to worry about. Regretfully, I explained that drones were the spy equipment du jour. This set them off. Fearing that they might turn on me, thinking I was somehow plotting their demise, I hightailed it out of there, careful to avoid the cow bomb mine field they had just completed for safety. I’ve learned my lesson, never try to reason with paranoia, even of the cow kind.